Last Goodbye
by Evermore888
Summary: Natsume knows he doesn't have much time left- especially if he won't stop doing missions for the academy. Which he can't stop doing- because it's the only way he has of keeping Mikan safe. And she won't leave the academy without him, so… Rated T for kicks


**God it feels like years since I wrote/updated/whatever for this site... I've been going through some old stories I wrote and found one that was pretty much completed, so... yep.**

**Anyway, whether I keep writing anything or not is remained to be seen, though I've found another fic I'm thinking on posting.**

**Okay, no more talking! R&R!**

**Enjoy=]**

**Last Goodbye**

The sun was setting. I watched it descending from the sky. _At least the sun will rise again tomorrow…_ I thought- and then was disgusted with myself.

"Tch. Stupid sun. Stupid me. Stupid this whole fucking world." A ray of light suddenly blinded me. I blinked and moved my hand, and the spark was gone. I lowered my head to look at the object in fault, and a sharp pain caused me to begin coughing, forcing me to lean on the tree I stood under for support.

_It's getting worse… and they made it clear enough that there is no escaping…_

After the pain subsided, hot fury took its place. It was suffocating, and it made breathing hard. I gritted my teeth, cursing, the air already getting warm from my reacting Fire Alice, when a familiar voice that always managed to send shivers down my spine cut through my dark, hatful thoughts- the only voice that could. "Natsume? Are you okay? I'm so sorry I'm late." Mikan's cheery, though slightly worried, voice came from behind me.

I took a deep breathe, forcing myself to look calm, and turned to face her.

She was smiling, that bright genuine smile she always had. She approached me and kissed me slightly on the cheek, looking at me almost shyly.

My resolve was collapsing by now. How will I ever be able to leave her? And, as cheesy and idiotic as it may sound, I doubted my _ability_ to even _be_ without her- to _live_ without her… I watched her standing in front of me, waiting for me to speak. It was me who called her here urgently, after all.

I knew I had to do it; nothing could possibly last between the two of us.

"It's over Mikan. Everything. I don't want to see you anymore. I don't want you hanging around me."

Her eyes were blank. I could only guess what went through her mind; disbelieve, confusion, hurt, betrayal… and it stung. It hurt to know that I was the cause of all this.

I, who swore to forever protect her and stay by her side.

Well, at least I was keeping the first part- the most important one.

So I kept my eyes on hers, until I saw the blankness being replaced by all those other emotions I knew she must have felt.

"Natsume-" I averted my gaze from her, keeping my face expressionless, all the while reliving other memories of better times. Memories of our words, promises, touches… it was a torture, really- and exactly what I deserved.

_I'm going to ruin both of our life. I'm going to break every promise I ever gave you. _I clenched my fists at the words I couldn't say out loud. _I'm doing it for you, Mikan. Please understand… I love you._

"Natsume, please, don't do it. You- we- I just don't understand…" her wavering voice sounded weak, and as it faded, I forced myself to look her in the eyes again.

_Beautiful hazel eyes boring into my crimson ones, smiling, promising happiness and sharing. Promising forever…_

"Look, I just can't do it anymore. I'm leaving in a week- it was decided two days ago- and I figured it would be better to cut things as soon as possible," I tried to sound cold, distant, even slightly bored.

_What a liar I am_, I laughed at myself bitterly. But I had to do it. Her safety was the most important thing, after all. My first priority. More than happiness, more than us, more than forever.

"Natsume, I know you don't- is it because of the academy? Is it the ESP?" her eyes pleaded with me to tell her the truth, to explain. I could see the tears forming and starting to flow down her cheeks. The urge to gently sweep them away and hug her to me, to comfort her, was almost overwhelming.

But we were being watched, and I had to make sure she will be out of danger once and for all- and that could only be achieved if she was out of my life. For good.

There was only one way to convince her of my intentions- that I really didn't need or want her anymore. As if such a thing could ever be possible.

It wasn't for nothing that I chose this place- _our_ place- under the sakura tree on and under which we liked to lay together, isolated from the rest of the world.

"I'm breaking our engagement," I told her with harsh voice- harsher than I meant. _It's better this way_… "It has nothing to do with the academy. It is my own decision. I don't love you. I thought I did, but I don't. I-" I couldn't say anymore, afraid I was gonna choke on my own words. I wanted to slap myself.

She just stared at me with huge lifeless eyes, frozen with shock. Understanding of my words finally befalling her.

"Was it all a lie, then?" she whispered, her voice toneless.

_No, Mikan, no! I love you…_ "I guess," I said out loud, loathing myself. I took another breathe and took off the same object that blinded me earlier from my finger; my engagement ring. "You should just forget about everything and move on, Mikan," my voice was quiet as I took her hand in mine and put the ring on her palm. I didn't want to let go, but I had to.

She watched our hands as I left hers.

_Goodbye, my Mikan. You will be better without me._ I had to believe that, or I might break. I was lucky she wasn't looking up at my face right now. I knew what my expression looked like in those moments when I watched her shaking hand closing tightly on the ring I returned. I most likely seemed like the mess I was inside.

She sniffed, and the tears fell freely from her closed eyes.

"I understand," she said shakily. "I- I love you Natsume," _please don't say that,_ I begged silently, _don't say anymore…_ "So if that's what you want and need… well, there is nothing I can do." She opened her eyes and tried to smile at me. I cringed inside.

_Fuck this life. Fuck the academy!_ If I had the chance, I believe I would have actually attempted consuming the whole place in fire. I would have done anything just not to see Mikan's pained face.

She took a step closer to me, and suddenly threw herself at me, hugging me tightly and pressing her lips against mine. It was only for a second, though, and then she let go and withdrew, smiling weakly. "Goodbye, Natsume."

The next moment, she was gone.

"Goodbye Mikan."

_Forever_.

* * *

**So what'dya think? Nice? tear-worthy (LOL)? Depressing? Over dramatic (XD)?**

**Just kidding. But I'd love to hear what you guys thought of this short one-shot (which just might turn into a two-shot if I'm ever in the mood).**

Love ya all!

**Evermore**


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